Sweet Sixteen

Sweet Sixteen

Friday, December 23, 2011

The Yellow Butterfly

This will be the first Christmas without my dad.
 My sisters, my mom and I have all been experiencing a range of emotions these past few weeks as we lead up to a holiday where we not only celebrate Christ's birth, but also cherish many memories of times with our family. 

My Dad liked to keep the focus on Jesus at Christmas, but he did buy each of us 4 girls a gift just from him. I can't remember each and every one but it was usually a practical gift like an alarm clock or a tool set but it was obvious he had put some time and thought into picking out just the right gift.

The emotions of missing someone who is no longer here to celebrate holidays or just live everyday life with, are at times overpowering and unpredictable.  Such was the case today when my mom and I took Nadia and the dogs for a walk.

  It is still warm for December 23rd, but certainly not the time of year to expect to see a butterfly flying around.  Sure enough, there it was, gracefully flying around ahead of us...a beautiful yellow butterfly. 

I pointed it out to my mom and then I burst into tears. My dad's favorite color is yellow, so when I saw that butterfly I KNEW that God sent this butterfly as a thoughtful gift to remind us that while we may not have our dad here in person this year, we still have the many memories of Christmases with him as well as the other times spent together as a family.

These bittersweet moments are to be expected as we walk down the path of grief, and even though seeing that butterfly brought out a lot of emotions that had been simmering under the surface, I am thankful that we serve a God who is willing to take the time to send a sign to remind us how much He cares. He loves us more than we will ever begin to imagine.

Some will say that the yellow butterfly was just a coincidence, but I know in my heart that the God who could part the Red Sea and feed the 5,000 with just a few fish and some bread, can most certainly send a butterfly to spiritually "hug" those who are hurting.

We miss you so very much Dad!
It just won't be the same without you.

For all of you who are also spending your first Christmas missing a loved one, our prayers are with you!

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3,4


  1. Kristin I truly felt in my heart the pain you are feeling this year as this is the first year without my grandma and she was the only family I loved and who believed in me. My grandma loved butterflies as well so when I saw your butterfly I felt for a brief moment my grandma smiling. I am sorry for your loss but thank you for a happy reminder of my grandma!

  2. Kristin, that was beautiful! <3 <3

    And I very much believe that yellow butterfly was put there just for you. From your sweet father...well, both of them <3

    I loved seeing the picture of your dad....such a wonderful man. I wish he was with you still...but I pray you're reunited with him soon <3

    Come soon Lord Jesus.

    Merry Christmas Ferguson's!!!!


  3. Nicely said. :) Marin and I cried as we read this together.

  4. Oh Kristin, I had a good cry reading this, too. My mother died almost 8 years ago, but often it feels like I just lost her yesterday.

    That yellow butterfly was absolutely a gift from God! My mother loved birds--bluebirds were here favorite. When we buried her at the cemetary, there was a bluebird there during the whole ceremony! I often have them sit on the windowsill of my kitchen when I'm doing dishes and they just seem to appear when we are at a playground or park. I know it may be hard for others to believe it's more than a coincidence, but I KNOW God loves us enough to send these signs that He understands our hurt and our loved ones are with Him.

    My love and prayers are with your family during this season of celebrating our Savior and treasuring the life and legacy of your precious father.

    Much Love,

  5. Love you, dear friend. It hits at random moments, doesn't it? And yes, God DOES send comfort in unusual and special ways. Can you imagine our Dads spending their first Christmas in heaven? Had to be AWESOME!